Believe in yourself
            in the power you have
            to control your own life, day by day
Believe in the strength
         that you have deep inside,
         and your faith will help
         show you the way
Believe in tomorrow
         and what it will bring
Let a hopeful heart carry you through,
         for things will work out
         if you trust and believe
         there’s no limit
         to what you can do.
 
By:  Emily Matthews

Have you ever thought, what am I doing? Where am I going?  Well, that was I in my early years ambitious but unclear. The “believing in yourself” poem inspired me during a time in my life that was hectic with the responsibilities of being a young mom, wife, student, worker and community activist.   My life was moving so fast it felt like a rocket without direction and too much motion.   

Sometimes I think how did I ever make it so far without falling on my face.  Then I realized that my determination, ambition and desire to prove others wrong propelled me into actions that I believed was my ticket to happiness and success – I lived a life full of disappointment and uncertainty.   

The poem was given to me by my husband to carry with me every day, I did.  He gifted me this card when we began dating, I was 17 years old and still in high school.  It served as a reminder that at the end of it all things will work out. I was moving 100 miles per hour without taking a breather or spending time with friends and family.  I was too busy chasing success that I lost my sense of self, what I believed in and the one thing that kept me going every day, the poem.

For years I inspired and motivated others, shared my wisdom and sought approval to reassure my place in the world.   I disguised myself as the perfect person instead of sharing some of my challenges and disappointments.  I never wanted to burden others with my pain; but, I, too, needed the encouragement, support and motivation I was offering to keep my energy up.  I was drained, lost, and the sad part of it, no one noticed or even asked.  

Life has a way of turning your world upside down to force you to take a pause. For many years, I have been non-stop until an unforeseen moment that required me to reassess my life’s journey.   After thirty-five years of floating on water, I found myself searching for my life’s purpose once again.  Surprisingly, the poem I lost reappeared into my life while I was decluttering my home office inside a black pocket-size cardholder.  I could not believe it was still in my life it brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face as I read it out loud recalling the moment my husband gave it to me during a time I was unsure about my future.  Just like that it showed up to once again inspire me to get my life back on track, to keep my faith, believe in myself and trust that things will work out the way it is supposed to be.    I have learned many lessons one of them being:  life is not a linear path as we think, but a rollercoaster of losses, strength, and courage.